Raw #004

Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m struggling.
I have my smoothies, I eat nuts & fruit, I have salads but I also have a constant craving for everything else. I know that when I crave meat and chocolate and cheese & crackers that my body is telling me that I need more calories. The frustrating thing is that I always give in to my cravings instead of just eating more fruit & veg.

I had scrambled eggs, brown toast with butter and a cup of coffee for breakfast. First of all, I don’t consider that a particularly unhealthy meal. Secondly, I resent the fact that I feel guilty for eating it. This is a problem. I don’t think I have a strong enough reason for going raw-vegan. Why am I doing this? My other half asked me last night if we could ever do this without constantly obsessing about food.

I realise that I need a solid reason for going raw. I will never have enough motivation when there is part of me saying “Why shouldn’t I eat meat? Why am I feeling bad about having some ham & cheese? One chocolate is nothing to worry about”

Well, that solid reason has just slapped me in the face – My family.

Or my family history of heart-disease to be more precise. I learned recently that my aunt had a heart-attack. This has been complicated by the fact that she is allergic to the dye which is be used to pinpoint blockages in the heart. Tomorrow morning she faces the most terrifying choice: to go home without the heart surgery she needs or to go ahead with the surgery even though she will react to the dye! (There is no alternative dye available for use here). All of our thoughts are with my aunt and her family – my uncle and cousins, my Mam & her other brothers & sister. I am certain that hundreds and thousands of prayers are being said for her safe recovery.

This is only the most recent of many instances of heart-attacks in my family. I have a history of it on both sides. My Dad’s parents both had heart problems, my Dad himself was recovering from a heart attack exactly one year ago, his brother had one only a couple of months ago. My maternal grandfather died young because of his heart, my Mam’s brother died while he was on his usual morning run when his heart stopped and now her sister has been given a 50/50 chance that her procedure will succeed tomorrow.

I can’t think of any other reason stronger than that.

 

P.S. Great news! My aunt’s surgery was successful!

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This entry was published on January 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm. It’s filed under Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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